"When I was 6 or 7, my dad worked for Bank of America and went to San Francisco on a business trip. On returning home, he told me all about the Golden Gate Bridge, and how some day he'd show it to me. Even though he's no longer here, he finally managed that as The Third Dad brought me to the cool, grey city of love courtesy of LUNAFEST.
On my second day in San Francisco, I was taken on a photo shoot for the festival. One of the locations I chose was the Golden Gate Bridge, in memory of my dad and a poem he wrote in 1965 at the age of 19.
I stand before a bridge
I do not dare to cross
I can never come back.
For the bridge is my life's bridge
which the others built for me
and which I face so desperately.
My body rages: go!
Should I cross the bridge
or is the time not right?
Am I even ready?
And can I get across?
I took the leap
now I'm standing on the other side
the distance spanned so many years
now years of toil arrive.
The poem has always haunted me because it's so poignant in relation to his life, however you interpret it. Seeing the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time at Fort Point, the location in Hitchcock's Vertigo where Scottie rescues a distraught and bewildered Madeleine after she tries to drown herself in the bay, was an emotional moment. Not least because the bridge wasn't fully visible and disappeared into fog.
I couldn't rescue my dad from drowning, but I thought of him and others suffering as I walked halfway across the bridge a few days later at sunset passing an emergency phone along the way that was accompanied by a small, unassuming blue sign with the simple yet powerful message: There is hope."